Am I So Flawed

Am I so flawed

Am I so bad

Why do others turn away from me?

I reach out until my arms ache

                 until my heart aches

I have had my fill of empty air

                 in my fingers

What more can I hold on to?

It comforts not

Do you see some fatal flaw

Impossible to love

Impossible to ignore

driving you away

                 out of reach?

Am I that broken?

                 if not before...

                 I am now.

Kill me with  your smile

Murder me with your glance

Wound my heart with  your slightest touch

I wish I weren't broken

I wish I weren't defected

I wish I was good enough

                I wish I could believe

December 28, 2000